Mom’s remeber who that Women is?

It’s been a busy week so far. My mom duties have been many and it seems it will get busier before it gets better.

This morning I was getting ready for the day, making a mental list in my head of all the things I needed to do today, the people I needed to call, the things I need to pack, the schedule for the day when a simple thought popped into my head as I looked at my self in the mirror.

I am a Woman too.

This week I have definitely forgotten that. I am not only a Mom,or a friend or even only a wife, but I am a woman too. A woman who wants to feel beautiful, to have the time to do her hair and feel good when she looks in the mirror. But mostly I am women who wants to be desired, not just as a wife who wants her husbands affection, but as a woman who longs for a mans touch, her mans touch. I had forgotten that woman was inside of me and I’m sure sometimes that man inside my husband gets bogged down by life too.

I want all Mom’s to remember that woman, that the goddess still exists inside, even when there are days you can not find the time to brush your teeth for all the things your children need. When life gets so busy your duties as a Mom, wife,employee seem to consume your life,  just acknowledge that she is there…. waiting… patiently. And there will come a time when you can channel that woman and bring the goddess out. 

 

 

 

Dobby and Kreacher

You know what I wanted for Mother’s Day….. A house elf. You know what? I didn’t get one. Boo. This is a gift I’ve been asking for for quite a while now, and I just don’t understand why I haven’t received one yet. Now I know they are kinda ugly looking creatures, but if I had my own little Dobby to do the chores I dislike, I think he’d grow on me. I’d even put up with kreacher’s attitude if he cleaned my toilet every week. Lol. Okay kidding aside, I think most women would jump at the chance to have a house elf, it’s nice to get a break from the constant cleaning, laundry and dishes. Somedays I wonder what would happen if I went on strike and didn’t do any laundry, cooking, cleaning or picking up of toys. I’m sure eventually it would get done, but it’s the little bits that mom does everyday that keep it manageable. It’s also those little bits everyday, that start to wear us down. Like water in a crack in a mountain.
So now your probably thinking, goodness what kind of housewife is this? She doesn’t like cooking or cleaning. Well the answer is… I’m still fairly new at the whole housewife thing. Even though I’ve been married a decade (OMG) I’ve only been home full time for about two years, so I’m still finding my groove. These things take time right? slowly but surely, at least that’s my moto. Lol.

24/7 – What’s on the menu?

All right ladies, here is my rant for today. I can be many things, play many roles, and where many hats. I even like to think once and a while I’m really good, but being a cook is not something I’m passionate about. Sure I enjoy baking and cooking a great recipe, but lets be honest, being a mom and wife requires more then just the occasional meal.

The thing all women need to be told if they are to become moms is this…. your day revolves around food. First its what to feed them for breakfast, what to pack in their lunch, and what to pull out to make supper. When and where to buy the cheapest groceries for the food, and are they getting enough food. Then cleaning all the dishes you cooked and ate the food in. If your nursing are you eating enough food to feed your baby, and when will they wake up again to eat…. It is a never ending thing with a family.

This week I am going to a meal prep workshop with a friend, hopefully it will inspire my creativity again about food, cause boy is it a big part of my life these days.

How Mama Got Her Groove Back

Today is Sunday, the end of a week or the beginning of a new week, depending on your perspective. Today I looked around my house and thought, How did it get like this? I have the biggest laundry pile I have ever seen; to the point I stood and starred at it for a full 2 minutes thinking “where do I begin?” The girls room has exploded with stuffed animals yet again, the dishes are always waiting, the cradle still needs to be taken apart and stored, piles of papers for the “office” sit on top my filing cabinet, and our basement is no closer to being finished then it was in spring. Oh yes to me the little piles of stuff are starting to feel overwhelming. Now my house is NO WHERE NEAR close to an episode of Hoarders, but I feel like I need to take control again and get my mommy groove back.

For a while there, I was Domestic Diva, Crockpot dinners, laundry and dishes everyday, time to blog, time to shower (yes you read that right. lol) I had time to sew a few things and started making some Christmas presents. But then I got hit with a double wammy; Holidays.  We all love going on holidays, getting away and taking a vacation, but in the back of our mind a little voice tries to remind you how it works. First there is the pre-holiday laundry, then the packing, the race around the house to make sure you have not forgot everything, then the mad clean before you leave so as not to come home to a dirty house. Then you enjoy the holiday, and when it’s over……. then the unpacking, and the post-holiday laundry. And then someone gets sick and soon the whole house has the sniffles, and the laundry starts all over again. Oh if I could hire someone who only did my laundry, I’d have millions of more hours in my week. I had gotten a pretty good handle on it once by making sure to do one load a day. I need to get back into that groove again, to take control of the Mt.Everest I have in my basement.

Of course I need to give myself some credit. I was sick too this past week and that really takes it out of you. Plus having extra kids around, and like I said the post-holiday unpacking and laundry. Also, and a big Also, is I need to remind my self that just 7 months ago I had a little baby boy, and he has been the center of my world. He is little and he still needs his Mom. Although he has almost weened himself from nursing, he still wants Moms attention and we are working on getting him to sleep through the night again. He has been more demanding then my girls were.  He was sleeping 8hours through the night, but since his first cold he hasn’t been a good sleeper. Which in turn means mom doesn’t get much rest either. Now all Moms have learned to function on limited sleep, but let me tell you, we are not nearly as productive or motivated on 5hrs of rest.

So lets summarize: My house looks out of control, my family was on holidays, then we were sick, my baby is not sleeping through the night, Mom is tired, Mom has low motivation, laundry pile continues to grow, and then I wake up and think….. where did my groove go? How do I get it back? How can I take control and feel good about my house again? Unlike the movie, I do not think a trip to a tropical area and a cute pool boy is the answer here ; )  I am more of the mind set of slow and steady, baby steps, one step at a time. So I’ll start by making a dent in the laundry, finding the floor in the girls room, and making soup for supper tomorrow. Then maybe I’ll feel better about myself again, that yes I can do this as I did before. I can be the Mom and wife I want to be, I just lost my groove, and now I need to find it again.

You know, I wonder, do you think there is a chance my groove is hiding under my pile of laundry????? I’m gonna find out!!!!

My Turn

I’m not writing this post to invoke sympathy from friends or family, or to pour out my woes and feel sorry for myself, but as an observation to how life plays out.  Those sayings about what you put out  there comes back to you and karma and such, I think there is some truth in them. I have tried to live my life with those thoughts in mind. Treat others the way you wish to be treated, trying not to burn bridges, don’t judge someone unless you’ve “walked a mile” in their shoes, remember there are always two sides to every story etc, etc and so on. And I think I have done an okay job, I am not perfect, but I always try to make an effort.

Well tonight, yet again, I am sitting at home alone, listening to my girls (who are suppose to be sleeping) arguing about what book to read next and to my very tired baby “complain” about being put in his bed so I can get a few minutes for me.  Now neither of these things are terrible, reading in bed is okay really, and it’s not like Conner is screaming his head off, but after another day by myself  looking after the kids, these noises sound like nails on a chalkboard.  Today again I am a Harvest widow. My husband has been out in the field all day and just informed me that he’ll eat his supper when he’s done, so I don’t need to bring him anything. Yesterday after supper I took all the kids for a quick drive to see him, just to get out of the house and have a break. I know my fellow moms would understand when I say at the end of the day it can be hard not to snap when one of your kids calls…. Mommy! By 8pm that word sends shivers down my spine sometimes, and I have to remind myself, “it’s just because I’m tired and it’s been a long day. I really do love that word” : ) My friend told me once there was a FB post about how bedtime should be at the beginning of day when mommy’s patience hasn’t been used up yet. How true is that hey? I am capable of handling it though. I’ve proven that to myself in the last four months, but it’s certainly nice to have some help. I’ve got tonnes of support that I can call on anytime I need too, so it’s really not as bad as it may seem here. PS the house if quiet now. All three kids sleeping like angels.

So I bet your wondering where this is going. Well it seems like ever since we had our baby boy in the spring,  I have been running this show alone. I know that’s not how it is, but with Dean in the field from morning till after dark and a new baby and two other kids, it gets overwhelming sometimes. It’s better now that Conner is older, he’s still demanding, but before I know it he’ll be running around too. In my husband’s defense, it’s just the timing of everything. Spring, and Fall are a farmers bread and butter. For as long as I’ve known him this is  how its always been, the daily schedule at harvest, but I haven’t been home full time till now to notice how much I miss him when he’s gone all day and then all evening. It’s hard doing the parenting thing all by myself, and then I realize…….. huh this must be how HE felt.

You see when we were first married, I had a business and I had started dancing very regularly. Then we had a baby and I continued to run the flower shop, pursue my dance passion, be a mom and wife. Since dean farmed and he was busy at parts of the year, we naturally fell into the stay-at-home dad routine. And it worked, it really did, he loved his little girl, we managed alright, but I was gone a lot. Eventually I would sell the store and work a bit less, but by then I was part of a professional dance troupe and had started teaching classes. Then Caitlin came along and I worked part time after she was born. I was fortunate to bring her to work with me, and  I still danced in the evening, often leaving Dean with one or more kids. I don’t ever remember him complaining once all those years, he never protested, he always just helped make it work. What an amazing man! Well I realized last summer, that it just wasn’t working for us anymore. Caitlin cried when I went to work and I was so tired that driving to dance and teaching was exhausting. It was time to start subtracting. It was MY TURN to be the stay-at-home parent.  I knew I made the right choice when we had an incredible summer and then God confirmed that I was right where I should be when we found out we were expecting again.  So after all those years of me being the one who worked all day and then having evening commitments, it flipped around, and now it’s my turn to take over the role my husband did so well for many years.

And even if I feel like complaining, I will try not to, he never did and I will just remind myself, that now it’s my turn. Karma’s a bitch right? , but in this case I’m actually thankful cause she kicked me right to where I should be, and probably where I should’ve been a long time ago.  When the kids are older, there will be time again for me to dance and work (if i want), but right now they need me here, Dean needs me here, I need me here. I’ll be thankful also that I am part of a family fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom. For I know there are others who do not have that luxury.

School time, Play time.

Yesterday was a big day for Caitlin. Off we go to School, well playschool.  She  was really excited and ready to join her sister in the school day routine. (Well on Monday and Wednesday anyway) She was also excited that Daegan would  be there and Ally too.  Caitlin was really good when I dropped her off and she told me she had a good time. She would later tell her dad it was bad, because one of the other girls wanted her mommy. (She’s very sensitive to other peoples emotions, and always wants to help make you feel better).  But she survived the three hours and this morning asked if she had playschool today, so that’s a good sign.

But how did this happen, when did I get two kids old enough for school?

I know it’s only playschool, but still before I know it Caitlin will be starting grade 1.  With Deanna in Grade 2 already, and Caitlin doing pre-school,  I know I have truly grown up. I am a school mom and that’s okay with me!

So we celebrated the school day with some playtime and made cookies with my cookie press. Then decorated them with colored icing and sprinkles. I also tried out a new perogie casserole dinner. I have discovered that I actually enjoy cooking and baking, a task I avoided at all costs for about the first 7 years of our marriage.  And I’ve realized that if I just give cooking a try I can be good at it. Although I do have a rib bone story that I swore was Karma telling me not to cook, but that’s for another time.  Anyway Deanna and I have decided that everyday  after school, that she will help me make something, because I want to make sure that my kids know how to cook and bake, and be safe in the kitchen. Plus it will give me some quality time with my oldest daughter who I am certain is growing up too fast and often gets left to fend for herself, so I can nurse the baby.

Yes I am a school mom, and housewife, and I’ve got many more years of that ahead of me, so I’m going to make the best of it and enjoy making lunches and dirtying my kitchen.