It’s Starting.

Well at the end of this Sunday, I feel pretty good. I feel like this week was much more productive then they have been in a long time. Although my goal of getting up early everyday didn’t always happen, I managed to find a few minutes each day to accomplish a small project that I wanted to do. I’ve discovered this is very important to my emotional and mental health. I am a lists person, and when I can’t seem to get anything done on my lists, then I start to stress out. And a stressed out mom makes for a very grumpy house. And this house has been quite grumpy as of late. So I’ve started to change that, and it’s going to get better.

Each day as I give myself a few minutes to do a task or project, I feel more productive, and these tasks are not just household things, they are projects that I have been thinking of for a long time. Things like sorting family photos, working on my Doula Certification, reading a book, sewing projects, exercising and the such. They are things that engage my creativity and for me heal my soul per-say. They make me feel rejuvenated and give me energy to be the Mom and Wife I want to be. It makes me feel like I can accomplish what I set my mind to, and not just do the things necessary to get my family through the day. In a sense they remind me that I am a person with hobbies, passions and goals.

Recently I felt a little like I had lost myself, that I only had one role and was beginning to feel trapped in that role. Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is the greatest thing I’ve ever done, but with it’s challenges and not outlet for myself, I was beginning to feel sad. Then I remembered I do have things I love to do, but somehow I need to find the time to do thoses things again. If I just have a few minutes each day, I could maybe get some satisfaction knowing that I have something that is for me. And so I did just that, a few minutes each day.

What developed in the course of the week is I found myself spending more and more time working on my Certification. Research, websites, pictures, reading, all to do with my DONA Doula Certification. This passion is growing in me, and it’s starting to surface more and more. I think it about it more often, catch my self getting caught up in a blog about someones birth story, joining groups, following blogs and magazines and making contacts with people.

I knew 8 years ago after the birth of my daughter, that a spark had been lit, but I didn’t know that I would feel this passionate about birth choices, birth coaching, women’s rights and being an advocate for empowering birth experiences. I want to learn more, read more, grow my library of resources, and ultimately figure out how to someday reach my goal of becoming a Midwife. It’s a dream that is growing and one that both me and my husband are excited about.

So maybe with a little time each day, I can build a foundation for my dream, re-awaken some hobbies, get back in shape, and feel more satisfaction. I think everyone in my house will benefit from that.

Oh and if you know anyone in my area who is interested in a Doula, please let me know!