Temperature Changes

Well after the most wonderful and relaxing week on sandy beaches in Mexico, we flew home just in time to get home and hunker down before the snow hit. We turned up the furnace and made soup for lunch while the snow blew all day. With a difference of almost 60degrees I am very proud of my husband for bundling up and going out in the storm to look after his cows. Me and the kids, we stayed in our PJ’s ALL day.

Our week in Mexico was so relaxing and quiet and just what we both needed. We slept the first night for 15hrs straight… no word of a lie. We were celebrating our 10years of marriage, yet everywhere we went people asked and called us Honeymooners… So that was nice.

We were ready to come home on Sunday and see our kids, afterall it was our oldest daughters Birthday and she’s not so little anymore. And as happy as we were to see our kids, I couldn’t help but wish we were still back in Mexico, especially when I woke up the next morning to see knee high drifts in front of my garage, and blowing snow so we couldn’t see the end of the driveway. Sigh….. Mexico was so lush and Warm… I hate being cold, but more than that even though I feel rested and that my husband and I have connected again, I don’t really feel rejuvenated the way I had hoped. When the reality of house and kids and cooking and cleaning hit me Monday morning it sucked my energy and fogged my brain. Maybe it was just everything all at once, snow, cold,kids, house…. but I’m a little sad that I can’t put on my bikini and go sit at the beach for one more day. Oh well. The smiles and giggles of seeing our kids after a week warmed my heart, even if there has been a bit of crying and yelling too. And today the snow has stopped blowing and the trees look nice. I put on the Christmas music to put me in the mood and am cleaning  the house so we can decorate. Christmas does have a way of rejuvenating me, there are many things about it I like, so that will be good to focus on. Since the kids are home because school has been cancelled for two days I thought today Christmas decorating should be fun, unfortunately the christmas tree is in a shed across the yard which is drifted thigh high… so the tree might have to wait. 

It’s funny, when we were leaving Mexico all the resorts were decorating for Christmas in a very festive style, and I thought how strange it was to see fake trees decorated and Palm Trees with Christmas bells hanging from them with beaches in the back ground while the sun shines brightly. Christmas means snow to me, well I got snow didn’t I??? lol. Although I could do with out it being 30below.

Last week was wonderful in the sun and this week in the cold will be busy preparing for Christmas. Talk about Temperature changes…

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Mom’s remeber who that Women is?

It’s been a busy week so far. My mom duties have been many and it seems it will get busier before it gets better.

This morning I was getting ready for the day, making a mental list in my head of all the things I needed to do today, the people I needed to call, the things I need to pack, the schedule for the day when a simple thought popped into my head as I looked at my self in the mirror.

I am a Woman too.

This week I have definitely forgotten that. I am not only a Mom,or a friend or even only a wife, but I am a woman too. A woman who wants to feel beautiful, to have the time to do her hair and feel good when she looks in the mirror. But mostly I am women who wants to be desired, not just as a wife who wants her husbands affection, but as a woman who longs for a mans touch, her mans touch. I had forgotten that woman was inside of me and I’m sure sometimes that man inside my husband gets bogged down by life too.

I want all Mom’s to remember that woman, that the goddess still exists inside, even when there are days you can not find the time to brush your teeth for all the things your children need. When life gets so busy your duties as a Mom, wife,employee seem to consume your life,  just acknowledge that she is there…. waiting… patiently. And there will come a time when you can channel that woman and bring the goddess out. 

 

 

 

Back in the saddle…

Today I get to jump back on the horse per say, and bring back a role I have not had for a while. I think the entertainer in me is very excited. The practical part of me is worried if I can do it again, but as I complied my music cd, the music called to me. Yes it’s time to SLOWLY get back to Bellydancing.  After almost two years away due to my pregnancy and birth of my third child, I am really to take on that role again in a small way.

I was (and still am) a professional bellydancer, part of a troupe and have danced at many events. Most of all I miss the ladies who I consider my dance family, and I look forward to seeing them again soon. But I do have to take it slow.  It is a big time commitment and with three kids I found I needed to be home more, my husband needed me home more, and I’ve learned that I need to make sure I don’t over commit. That all being said, about a month ago I really missed Dance; The music, the ladies, the costumes, the exercise and the way it made me feel to perform, so it was time to figure out how to make time for a little dance.

Tonight I get the honor of filling in for my mentor at her regular gig, dancing at the local restaurant to bring smiles to the local patrons. I’ve done it before and am happy to do it again. A small way to get my feet wet again, and in time I will be able to do more of the dance I love and enjoy so much.

 

Super September

Well so far it’s been a SUPER start to September and tomorrow marks the 1st Anniversary of my Blog!!!! Really? Already? Wow!  A pat on the back for me! I may have not got as many posts in as I wanted to, but it is really nice to have a place to journal and share some of our silly little life.

So lets see…. what has made September so SUPER so far.

1. Kids are back in School. And yes we had an amazing summer, but I was glad to see routine back into our lives.

2. I signed Caitlin up for Gymnastics which she is really excited about.

3. Deanna made it to the second stage of her appliance. So we now have fewer trips to the dentist and the improvements have been positive.

4. I was blessed to be part of another beautiful birth of a first baby and witness also the birth of a family.

5. My girlfriend asked me to come on a totally last minute get away to LasVEGAS!!! to celebrate her birthday. And even though it rained almost everyday we were there (lol) we made the best of it, and as I browsed the pictures tonight they brought a smile to my face. Thank you so much for those wonderful memories my friend!!!  I’d do it all over again.

and

6. The anniversary of my blog. I didn’t realize it till I sat down to write this post, but then I was really excited. I hope to grow in my writing more over the years. Sometimes inspiration hits me and I can write something really deep, other times it’s just a quick post to update my craziness.

So thank you all of you for following and reading my blog, for sharing my moments and memories, and for not boooo-ing me offline… hehehe. 

Super September, lets keep up the good work. Lets keep the momentum going as we push forward into harvest on the farm and head into what I call birthday season….If you don’t remember check out my early blog.. Autumn Arrives…. My husbands birthday kicks off a series of 9 birthdays in the last months of the year.

 

May Madness….

Well I can’t believe it’s the last day of May already. For our family May had been very busy both with the kids and on the Farm.

We started out the month with a few really nice days, and right away my husband was anxious to get into the field to seed, but first we had a little celebrating to do. My baby boy turned One at the beginning of May and we had a great family dinner then a beautiful afternoon in the park complete with Farm themed cake and cupcakes. I still can’t believe my baby is one years old. His birthday was a special day and he was surrounded by love which is a beautiful thing. When there are days I am feeling blue, these are the moments I need to recall; pushing the kids on the swings in the sunshine and sitting on the living room floor sharing in the giggles of a new toy.

So after his birthday the month just seemed to fly by. When the clouds would part and the sun would come out my husband disappeared into the tractor to seed barley and canola. And when he wasn’t fixing equipment there were cows to look after and fence to fix. Even though the rain slows his progress, I welcome it somedays, cause it’s the only time in spring I get to see him.

On occasion my girlfriend and I would get a run in as well, which feels really good, but I am surprised how hard it was in May to fit in just a hour a week of fitness. I think I finally have a few babysitters at my disposal now so I can be organized to get ready for the two mud runs I’ve registered for this fall. AHHHHHHHH. What am I thinking??? I’m not a runner. But I hear its great for getting a flat tummy, so sign me up baby.. LOl.

This month I also had the honour of joining a couple as a Doula for the birth of their baby girl. We also had; Playschool Field trip and Graduation for my middle Daughter, A Doula Training workshop, Hypnobabies Course which was truly amazing information, My sister-in-law planting the garden, yard work, the trampoline out, a trip to Leduc, dealing with Deanna’s dental appliance(Which is a whole other blog post)  and my son gaining his confidence in walking. Oh yes, he is walking around the house so I know he’s officially not a baby anymore, but more a toddler now.

My oh my, no wonder I felt a little silly some days, it was truly a busy month in our house. And as June begins, I look forward to a wonderful summer with friends, new babies(even a cousin for our kids, WOOT WOOT) Camping, more running and workouts and just soaking up the sunshine. Maybe a few days of sprinkler fun and swimming pools when all the kids are here. I think I would be even happier if I could get some painting projects and reno projects done too.

I hope as you look ahead into June, July and August you see Sun and Fun too.

Big Thank you Hug.

I just want to take a moment to thank you for joining me this past week as I celebrated World Doula Week on my Blog. I hope you enjoyed my posts this week and I want to thank you for your support of my new role and my journey to being a Super-Doula. LOL. Sorry for the pun. I am just excited to be a Birth Doula and will continue to search for ways to make my services better and personalized. The joy that comes from seeing a mom and dad become parents for the first time is truly beautiful.

I am fortunate enough to have more then a few births coming up in the next few months, and I can’t wait to stand by each of them and offer words of support and encouragement or to simply hold their hand, no matter what time of day it is. Being a Doula isn’t a job for me, it’s a gift I’ve been given that I want to share. Every birth I attend is a privilege and I am humbled and honored to be a part of it.

I want to say a big thank you to my past clients and to my future clients, but there is one person who deserves the biggest thank you hug more then anyone else, for without him, I could not do any of this. As I write, I am brought to tears….. You see I have the most amazing husband, and with out HIS support, I could not do this at all. Thank you Dean for your loving care, your hours of childcare, your ears that are tired of hearing about all things baby, and still sending me out the door saying “don’t worry just go, Good luck and have fun. ”  Even though this journey for me is just beginning I feel his support stronger then any other, like we are on the same page and I truly don’t have to worry. This is where I am meant to be and he knows it to. Thank you so much! I love you Dean.

PS…. Dean you were my Doula, my support and my rock at each of my Births. Without you by my side I would not have been able to do it. You gave me strength and you believed in me. Every women should be so lucky.

XOXO

Spoiled!!

Written Feb 21

So usually I am talking about how spoiled my children are. As they are currently the only nieces and nephews in our family and both sets of grandparents live close by, I’d say they are pretty spoiled. Toys, gifts, clothes, ice cream, chips, chocolate milk, teddy bears, all thanks to the Uncles, Aunts, and Grandparents in their lives. But today I was the spoiled one. Today my husband hooked up our new Frigidaire gas stove and fridge! HOLY CRAP! Lucky me! Actually lucky us.

Dean grew up with a gas stove, and ever since we got married he has been talking about how some day we will get a gas stove. Today we hooked it up and turned it on for the first time. Very Cool, but since I grew up with electric, it will take a little while for me to get used to a gas stove, or so they say. Apparently gas is WAY superior to cook with. I guess I’ll find out. But tonight I’m still a little afraid, so I’m not sure what we will have for supper……. maybe Kraft Dinner….LOL. Hey I may be spoiled, but not too spoiled I cant enjoy good ole KD.

Re-blog of Renegade Mothering.

Here is a link to a wonderfully written blog that speaks of the powerful transformation that takes place when your first born arrives into this world. I don’t usually talk about topics like this, but this blog hit a home run for me.

Recently I came across a letter I had written to myself in early 2005. As I read it, silent tears ran down my face.  It was a reminder of a sad time, a time of mourning and loss, and yet I had been given so much.  But as I read my own words, my tears turned from sorrow to joy. How is it that just 8 years ago I was soo far away and now I have discovered a passion for birth; that I want to make a career out of helping other women make the beautiful transition into motherhood?? Wow I am truly blessed to have come so far. And I could not have done it without my husband. He was and still is my rock. He was always there and supported me as I transitioned into my role as a mother. And now I see the joy in his eyes as I pursue being a Doula. His support is strong.

Now I will probably never share my own letter, but this lady’s blog mimics my letter. She shared those things  most women hardly dare to think and it is wonderfully written. Thank you Renegade Mother, for sharing this with us. I believe all women should read this to know they are not alone, and it is okay to grieve for you loss in a time of great joy. Thank you so much. I feel like a part of me has healed even more after reading this.  Click on the link Below.

I became a mother, and died to live..

Renegade Mothering –  http://www.renegademothering.com

The Mad Hatter

Hats, they are so great! They can be really cute, fun, or practical. They can keep crazy hair under cover, shield the sun, or keep your head warm (In Canada we call those hats Touques) They come in many colors, fabrics and styles. My husband is a full fledged farmer, and almost never goes anywhere with out a baseball cap. I have many friends who have hoards of really great hats, kinda the way I have hoards of really great shoes, you see, I look HORRIBLE in Hats! Every once in a while I see a hat and think, hey maybe that would look cute on me, proceed to try it on, and then rip it off as fast as I can, hoping that no one saw that atrocious display. This can pose a big problem for me especially for the fact that we live in Canada, and 8months of the year requires that your ears be covered. I have yet to find a touque that a:looks cute on me, b: keeps my head AND ears warm, and c: Isn’t so Itchy I’d rather get frost bite then feel like my head is stuck in a straw bale. Grrrrrrr.

And then there is the issue of summer hats. Oh where do I begin…..   My mom found this great hat in Mexico, the kind that you can scrunch up in a suitcase and when you pull it out it looks cute and keeps the sun off, well I obviously didn’t get the hat wearing gene from my Mom. Boooo! I tried to find a hat like that in Mexico, I wore it for the week and when I got home proceeded to put it in the Sally Ann Box. Good thing it was cheap. I’ll donate it and someone else will love it.

As you can see in the picture I did find a hat in Vegas that I liked, a month later it went missing, and I mourned the loss. I kept my eye open for another like it. Skip a year ahead….. OMG I found a hat like that one. Quick buy it, actually, buy two. Yeah! I own one cute hat, perfect. Then fast forward a week, Hey Lesley-Ann, guess what I just found in the camper???? My Vegas hat. LOL. Figures. Bet if I hadn’t bought those hats, I wouldn’t have found it. She agrees with me. Too Funny. 

Well today I am packing for a winter trip and once again hats is an issue. I’m missing my pink winter touque the one of 10 I have that I actually think looks good on me. Do you think I could get away with wearing my daughters leopard print touque with the pink bows? It looks great on her!!?? Oh good she missed the non-hat wearing gene from me! Phew. Dodged that one.

Maybe I should buy one of those jester hats that are suppose to look silly and then it wont matter if I look ridiculous cause that’s the point. Oh goodness I don’t like hats, but ask me about my shoe collection and we’re more then okay!Image

It’s Starting.

Well at the end of this Sunday, I feel pretty good. I feel like this week was much more productive then they have been in a long time. Although my goal of getting up early everyday didn’t always happen, I managed to find a few minutes each day to accomplish a small project that I wanted to do. I’ve discovered this is very important to my emotional and mental health. I am a lists person, and when I can’t seem to get anything done on my lists, then I start to stress out. And a stressed out mom makes for a very grumpy house. And this house has been quite grumpy as of late. So I’ve started to change that, and it’s going to get better.

Each day as I give myself a few minutes to do a task or project, I feel more productive, and these tasks are not just household things, they are projects that I have been thinking of for a long time. Things like sorting family photos, working on my Doula Certification, reading a book, sewing projects, exercising and the such. They are things that engage my creativity and for me heal my soul per-say. They make me feel rejuvenated and give me energy to be the Mom and Wife I want to be. It makes me feel like I can accomplish what I set my mind to, and not just do the things necessary to get my family through the day. In a sense they remind me that I am a person with hobbies, passions and goals.

Recently I felt a little like I had lost myself, that I only had one role and was beginning to feel trapped in that role. Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is the greatest thing I’ve ever done, but with it’s challenges and not outlet for myself, I was beginning to feel sad. Then I remembered I do have things I love to do, but somehow I need to find the time to do thoses things again. If I just have a few minutes each day, I could maybe get some satisfaction knowing that I have something that is for me. And so I did just that, a few minutes each day.

What developed in the course of the week is I found myself spending more and more time working on my Certification. Research, websites, pictures, reading, all to do with my DONA Doula Certification. This passion is growing in me, and it’s starting to surface more and more. I think it about it more often, catch my self getting caught up in a blog about someones birth story, joining groups, following blogs and magazines and making contacts with people.

I knew 8 years ago after the birth of my daughter, that a spark had been lit, but I didn’t know that I would feel this passionate about birth choices, birth coaching, women’s rights and being an advocate for empowering birth experiences. I want to learn more, read more, grow my library of resources, and ultimately figure out how to someday reach my goal of becoming a Midwife. It’s a dream that is growing and one that both me and my husband are excited about.

So maybe with a little time each day, I can build a foundation for my dream, re-awaken some hobbies, get back in shape, and feel more satisfaction. I think everyone in my house will benefit from that.

Oh and if you know anyone in my area who is interested in a Doula, please let me know!