Proud Mama Bear

Today my eldest daughter Deanna, who is in Grade 2, did something very special. And I could not be more proud.

We went into town to get her hair cut and Deanna decided she wanted her hair cut shorter. And thanks to my wonderful friend Maxine (our Hairdresser) who mentioned her hair is long enough we should be able to cut off her pony tail to donate for Cancer patients. Deanna got a huge smile on her face, and she was sold! She wanted to donate her beautiful hair to help make a wig for kids who have lost their own hair.

It brought tears to my eyes. This is an issue that I think will hit close to home for us, and I was so proud of my baby girl. She has a beautiful heart, and I’m so glad she wants to help others.These are the moments you treasure as a mom, the ones that make it all worth while. The beautiful moments that touch your heart and warm you all over. It was a special moment for me as her mom,

The bonus is she loves her shorter hair, and she can’t wait to grow it out again so she can donate it another time. WOW. That’s my Girl!!

Sunday Morning

Today I got up before anyone else. On a Sunday. When I could have slept in. Why you ask? I will tell you and the answer is very simple.

I have a friend who has done this for many years, and I think I need to take a page from her book. To rise before the rest of the house, simply so that I may have a few minutes to myself. That’s it, that’s all. Just a simple selfish answer: ME time.

There is a saying, “When mom is happy, the whole family is happy”. Both my husband and I agree with this saying 100% and since the beginning of 2013, I have really felt like I’ve had no time for me. Even a few minutes can mean a world of difference. Last week when we were dealing with colds, flu, runny noses, medicines and sleepless nights, my dear husband Dean even  offered me a chance to just drive to town to get a Timmies! For my fellow rural friends, you understand what that means. You don’t just do that! It’s gas, time, wear n tear on the vehicle, and a waste of a trip to town. Even though I did not go, I fully appreciated his understanding. I was tired and stretched thin, I needed a bit of space and a few normal minutes for me.

So this is my solution. Get up before everyone else and take 15mins to do something I want to do. It can be simple as reading a book, blogging, making my fav breakfast, or a project I want to start. It has worked for others I know, and I’m hoping that if I get a few minutes for me in the beginning of the day, it will start my day off right, and make me a happy Mom.

A happy Mom, a happy husband, happy Dad, happy Deanna, happy Caitlin and hopefully a Happy Conner man! Lets test it out this week, and see how it goes. So far this Sunday morning has been very productive and I feel pretty good. So that is a great start.

Enjoy your Sunday Morning, I already have!!

Imprinting

“All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was…….. disconnected from me in that second – snip, snip, snip – and floated up into space.

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing – to the very center of the universe.

I could see that now – how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.

It was the baby girl……………….”

Stephanie Meyer – Breaking Dawn

Eight years ago today, my life changed forever. An event occurred that would affect every thought, every decision, and every choice I made. It changed how I saw myself, my husband, my parents and even my friends. It changed the way I LOVED.  As I look back over the last eight years I realize that that there is nothing on this world like the love of a mother. Eight years ago today I looked into the beautiful blue eyes of my first born baby girl and the role of Mom was bestowed on me.  Never again would my world be the same, for I was a Mother now.

There are many sayings and quotes out there that show a Mom’s love. A favorite of mine is “No one else will know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.” Beautiful. But as I lie awake in bed this morning remembering the day of Deanna’s birth like it was yesterday, I thought, hey there is someone I know who has described what happens to a Mom when she looks into the eyes of her newborn baby, and for all you Twilight fans, you know what I mean when I say Imprinting!

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but as I read the passage from Stephanie Meyer’s book this morning, I did not think of the first time I saw my future husband or even the first time he told me he loved me, granted those are significant events, but I thought of each of my children when I held them for the first time. They changed my universe. They changed what mattered in life, they helped me see the big picture better. As a Parent one thing seems to matter above all else, seeing your children truly happy. To have them safe and healthy and for them to know they are loved. The similarities to what Stephanine Meyer called Imprinting in her series seems familiar now. I understand where the idea came from, for she is a mom too. She understands the special love a parent has when they see their child for the first time. This is something only a parent can understand. A beautiful, Innocent, Powerful, Life changing love.

I think I appreciate my own parents more now that I am a Mom. Now I know where the care and concern comes from, and how they love each of us. I understand their hopes and dreams for us and why they are so happy when we are happy.  I see how they made sacrifices for us, and worked hard for us, and taught us important lessons that would benefit our adult lives. Now I want to do the same for my children, to share with them and teach them the things in life that will bring them happiness. Not money or wealth, but things like honesty, respect and loyalty. That’s the kind of Mom I want to be.  When I was a teenager, I never dreamed that the role of a Mom would mean these things. It’s so  much more then just having a baby of your own to look after hey? The role of Mom means you think about yourself less and catch yourself thinking about your children and their future more than anything else.  Each decision you make now not only effects you, but it effects them as well. It truly is a huge responsibility.

I definitely “Imprinted” on each of my children when I saw them the first time, when the title of Mom was given to me, but I think it takes time to actually become a Mom. It is something that you constantly work at. Eight years ago I was given that title, but it’s only in the last few years that I finally feel like I’ve started to become the Mom I want to be. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved my children and understood what truly mattered, but it has only been recently that I really took that role and quote “Jumped in with both feet”. Now I look at my own sacrifices differently. I see things in a different light and I really appreciate my time with my children more then I every have. I truly want to share in their joy and fun, and teach them those life lessons. It may have taken me almost 5 years to start figuring all this out, but I am glad I’m not 5 years too late.

Today I remember Deanna’s birth with pride and joy. She is a beautiful, smart and wonderful child. I am so glad she was the child that made me a Mom. I am glad that I am becoming the Mom I want to be while she is still young. I am so happy and proud of my little girl, the girl who changed my life, the very center of the universe. Happy 8th Birthday to my first born. I love you, Dad loves you and we pray for your happiness today and always.  May you always remember we are here for you, our hearts belong to you, for you have made an “imprint” on them that will last an eternity. Smile, Laugh, Love. Have a wonderful day Bunny. You are our sweetheart.

Love Mom. Love Dad.

 

Crafting and Relaxing

And credit to my Dad for cutting the wood bases for them.

Finally a chance to sit down and blog. The kids are watching Aladdin on our brand new 50″ TV, that my husband got last night, after almost three weeks without a TV. Realistically, I was so busy I didn’t even miss it. I think I would have been alright without a TV for a bit, but my poor hubby missed more then one Football game, and so when the Black Friday Flyers came last night, he jumped into action. So now we have a bigger, better plasma TV. As my mom said ” I’d better pretend that that means something and I’m impressed right?” or something like that… lol.  Yes it looks great on our wall, and I know the kids are happy to be able to watch Treehouse again.  So while Conner naps and I have my tea, I’d like to share the highlight of my week and relax a bit.

This week I fell quickly and comfortably into an old role of mine. A few weeks ago my Dad asked me if I would help with a Christmas party he was involved in  organizing. He asked if I could  make centerpieces for the tables. You see, I worked in the floral industry for close to ten years and during those years I discovered I have a natural talent for designing and crafting. Also that I really enjoyed creating beautiful floral art with my hands. If I have the right supplies, my instincts take over and something inspires me to create beautiful pieces.  Well I think they are beautiful, and others tell me they are, so I hope they are not just being nice.  I once created a beautiful horse shoe wreath for someones funeral, and custom designed other funeral pieces with bibles, saddles, gardening gloves and other personal items. My most amazing memory of designing, was rescuing a bride after they  picked up their flowers from another florist and she was distraught. In 45mins, I re-designed her bouquet and the four bridesmaids bouquets,  managed to get before and after pictures too, all the while supervising Deanna who used to come to work with me. BOO-YAH! Top that! And they LOVED them.  But I digress, back to the centerpieces. I was excited to help out with this project. So I quickly went on Pintrest and after a few very inspiring pictures, came up with a  design.

My Mom and I did a shopping trip to Red Deer, and when I got back from my holiday, I went to work putting them together. My mom helped me one afternoon, and it was nice to share the project with her. We got in some Mother- Daughter time while we worked.  I was really impressed how  quick and simple they were to put together and how cost effective too.  My kids thought is was neat that Mom was making crafts. They were too little to remember the hours, and hours they spent as babies and toddlers helping me at the flower shop. I got to do crafts there everyday! And without the stress of business, I find that designing really is relaxing.  It is very satisfying to make something beautiful with your hands, to see an idea in your mind come together and look  good. I am really glad my Dad asked me to do these, and I hope that the guests at the Party tonight enjoy them! We made a total of 26 Centerpieces!

Now back to runny noses and a mountain of Laundry, till the next time my floral skills are needed, and I get to play with pretty things. Maybe sometime in the next month I’ll be able to sit down at my sewing machine again and fit in some Christmas crafts. It tis the season.  Enjoy your weekend everyone.

Lazy Day

I think we all like lazy days, you know the ones where you stay in bed as long as possible, wear your comfy pants and a cozy hoodie, and eat things like cereal and mac & cheese. Every once in a while it’s  good I think to have a lazy day. It reminds us to slow down and appreciate what we have.

So I decided to begin my thirties with a lazy day. Yes the BIG 3-0 came and went and I survived it. So today I celebrated by staying in bed till 8am, which in our house it late, and ate frosted flakes for breakfast. Someone said now that I’m thirty I’ve joined the ranks of the responsible people. lol. But I think just because now I’m “responsible”, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a bowl of frosted flakes once in a while right?  I have not been completely irresponsible today, the kids are all bathed and clothed and fed, and I put in one load of laundry, but I’m staying home today to do as little as possible. I personally think it’s a great way to start the next decade of my life.

I actually  have a love-hate relationship with lazy days. These are the days when I snuggle with Conner, and don’t worry about Caitlin’s crazy hair. Where I let Deanna have cheese and peanut butter for breakfast and let Dean make his own lunch. I put my hair in a pony tail and turn on the music on my iPhone.  But even as I am enjoying my lazy day, in the back of my mind is a nagging voice saying “Christa you have things to do, and the less you do today, the more you have to do tomorrow”  That is why I have a love-hate relationship with lazy days. The dishes pile up, the laundry piles get higher and that project I have been wanting to do doesn’t  get any closer to being done. But it’s like weighing your pros and cons. Today on my lazy day, I will listen to Caitlin play with toy horses and Deanna read her school books, and give extra kisses to baby Conner and maybe to Dean too.  Today I will enjoy the most important thing in my life. My Family. And that sounds like a pretty big pro to me.  I am glad that as I begin my thirties, I have much to be thankful for. Today the housework can wait and I will just worry about my role as a mom.

Here’s to a LAZY DAY!!  And may you have a lazy day soon too.

mommy blahs

We all have days where we wake up and think, I don’t want to get up today, I just want to stay in bed all day and feel sorry for my self. It’s cold outside and the weather is Icky and I want to stay under the blankets. Yesterday was that day for me.

I was tired, cold, I had a sore hip and a mild headache. I just didn’t feel like me. I was short on patience, generally grumpy, and easily annoyed. Now for some women we just call that PMS and move on, but this was different, It’s more like mommy blahs, a condition that occurs after many many days of only doing mommy stuff. Oh I don’t know, I’m just being silly, but I know it wasn’t the same as my pre-baby PMS days. I started to contemplate just what was bringing me down. I think there are many factors adding to my blahs from yesterday; Lack of sleep with a nursing baby, kids vying for my attention, a big stack of laundry, finding clothes that fit my post-baby body, missing my husband, and the weather too.  But all those little things start adding up until one day, it just becomes too much all together and I get grouchy.  My poor kids and hubby……

Also contributing to my mood; The Year of the Dragon, or so I’ve been saying. I don’t know how much of that stuff is true, but it seems this year has been one of those years.  It  feels like there have been lots of things happening to people I know that just don’t seem fair, or are unfortunate. I know I can’t control those situations, but my heart goes out to them and I can’t help but feel a little sadness for them. It’s part of what makes us human, to feel sympathy for others who are struggling or sad, or like me, just having one of those days.  But sometimes those  feelings just hang on a little longer or bother you a bit more then normal and it takes more effort to let go.

Now I probably didn’t help my own mood by watching a documentary the night before, which is sooooo fabulous by the way, called The Business of Being Born.  As I watched it, I was so shocked and yet encouraged. I felt that my goal of being a Doula will help women, that it will empower women to overcome some of the fears and issues of medicalized births. I wont get into the details of the film, because it actually make me very passionate and physically upset, but it does make me feel that my role as a Doula is part of something special. That Doulas are part of a important movement for our women. I was actually upset that I could not do more to help these women and I’m sure that added to my mood yesterday. I know it’s not realistic for me to think I can help everyone, but maybe I can change the world, one birth at a time!  I also watched Pregnant in America,  well done, but The Business of being born I enjoyed more.

Which brings me to the main reason I believe I was grouchy, I’m not a really patience person to start with, and being a Doula means I have to wait for the call. I hate waiting. lol. However, I know that when the call does come, it will be very rewarding experience indeed.

I did end up having an okay day yesterday, I had a visit on the phone with a friend, talked to my mom, watched Deanna read to Caitlin, crossed some things off my to- do list and found some jeans that fit me thanks to a friend of mine. So today I am going to follow the  advice of that friend.  I’m going to put on my jeans, do my hair and makeup, put supper in the crock-pot and shake off the mommy blahs. Maybe I’ll book a hair appointment and make myself feel like a women again and not just a mom today, maybe today I’ll get lucky and my client will call. Now that would be a wonderful pick me up, don’t you think?

School time, Play time.

Yesterday was a big day for Caitlin. Off we go to School, well playschool.  She  was really excited and ready to join her sister in the school day routine. (Well on Monday and Wednesday anyway) She was also excited that Daegan would  be there and Ally too.  Caitlin was really good when I dropped her off and she told me she had a good time. She would later tell her dad it was bad, because one of the other girls wanted her mommy. (She’s very sensitive to other peoples emotions, and always wants to help make you feel better).  But she survived the three hours and this morning asked if she had playschool today, so that’s a good sign.

But how did this happen, when did I get two kids old enough for school?

I know it’s only playschool, but still before I know it Caitlin will be starting grade 1.  With Deanna in Grade 2 already, and Caitlin doing pre-school,  I know I have truly grown up. I am a school mom and that’s okay with me!

So we celebrated the school day with some playtime and made cookies with my cookie press. Then decorated them with colored icing and sprinkles. I also tried out a new perogie casserole dinner. I have discovered that I actually enjoy cooking and baking, a task I avoided at all costs for about the first 7 years of our marriage.  And I’ve realized that if I just give cooking a try I can be good at it. Although I do have a rib bone story that I swore was Karma telling me not to cook, but that’s for another time.  Anyway Deanna and I have decided that everyday  after school, that she will help me make something, because I want to make sure that my kids know how to cook and bake, and be safe in the kitchen. Plus it will give me some quality time with my oldest daughter who I am certain is growing up too fast and often gets left to fend for herself, so I can nurse the baby.

Yes I am a school mom, and housewife, and I’ve got many more years of that ahead of me, so I’m going to make the best of it and enjoy making lunches and dirtying my kitchen.